It’s such a damn cliché, but pictures reveal so much more than we are willing to see. Take, for instance, my weight loss “before” picture taken by my indulgent friend Stacy just last week. I’m posting it because this is me being brave and trying to move forward without my silly illusions. I know most of you actually know what I look like in person. Sadly, I’m not sure I know what I look like in person anymore.
I am fond of my silly illusions. Like the one I have where what I actually look like I do in this picture to the left - taken my first year of college when I was 19.
See, in my head I still look like I did when I was 30, 19, 17 . . . . In my head I’m still hot, still worth a second look. My after picture? Who is that woman in her silly capris and her raggedy bangs with her saggy boobs? I just simply do not know her.
See, in my head I still look like I did when I was 30, 19, 17 . . . . In my head I’m still hot, still worth a second look. My after picture? Who is that woman in her silly capris and her raggedy bangs with her saggy boobs? I just simply do not know her.
Which is how you end up needing to lose 48.5 (now down to 44!) pounds. You do not look at pictures of yourself. You simply look in the mirror and magically superimpose your own favorable fantasy over what you see. You cannot do that with a picture.
Did I want to share my before picture with the world? Hell no! I’m doing it so I can stop this nonsense of imagining that I do not actually resemble my current picture. It’s all part of the process of trying to quit the fooling of myself I’ve been doing on every front of my life.
I’m a lumpy mess. And that’s the first really important step to becoming a not-as-lumpy and hot-enough-for-42 kind of a girl. Like the one in my head.
I’m a lumpy mess. And that’s the first really important step to becoming a not-as-lumpy and hot-enough-for-42 kind of a girl. Like the one in my head.
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5 comments:
I got motivated to join the gym again after I saw some recent photos of me that people tagged on facebook. You know -- how could I really have such a huge double chin?!? I'd never have posted that photo -- but people can just put anything up on FB. It cuts through the denial pretty fast.
Anyway, good luck. You can accomplish your goals.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who avoids pictures! Thank you Anna! Good luck at the gym. I think we'll all be looking fine come M&M this year.
You're absolutely right about pictures not lying. We got a family photo back from the church directory, and I looked at it and couldn't believe how fat I looked. It was so bad I took the dress I was wearing in the photo and took it to Goodwill immediately.
Pictures don't lie. Too bad those scammers at LA Weightloss have my before picture.
You are proof that Olan Mills takes some pretty smoking hot photos! Let us continue to cheer each other on.
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